1 00:00:03,867 --> 00:00:06,500 Brittani: EVERY SINGLE DAY, I LOOK AT MYSELF IN THE MIRROR, 2 00:00:06,500 --> 00:00:09,400 AND I'M LIKE, "WHAT DID YOU DO TO YOURSELF?" 3 00:00:16,800 --> 00:00:20,433 Man: MY WEIGHT HAS GIVEN ME A DEATH SENTENCE. 4 00:00:20,433 --> 00:00:23,433 Nikki: THE THING I RELIED ON ALL THESE YEARS IS 5 00:00:23,433 --> 00:00:25,400 WHAT'S KILLING ME. 6 00:00:32,200 --> 00:00:34,833 -AND IT'S BROKEN! -WHAT AM I SUPPOSED TO DO? 7 00:00:34,833 --> 00:00:35,833 I DON'T KNOW! I CAN'T GET UP! 8 00:00:35,833 --> 00:00:37,700 DON'T MAKE ME GO, PLEASE. -I'M NOT. 9 00:00:42,233 --> 00:00:44,500 Man: IT'S HARD TO BE A FATHER FROM A CHAIR. 10 00:00:44,500 --> 00:00:46,367 [ GROANS ] THANK YOU, HONEY. 11 00:00:46,367 --> 00:00:49,700 I SEE THAT UNWILLINGNESS. 12 00:00:49,700 --> 00:00:52,133 IF YOU WILL SEE THIS, YOU'LL MAKE CHANGES. 13 00:00:54,800 --> 00:00:56,400 Dr. Nowzaradan: FOOD IS NOT GOING TO BE 14 00:00:56,400 --> 00:00:58,800 A COPING MECHANISM FOR HER ANYMORE. 15 00:00:58,800 --> 00:01:00,767 Brittani: MENTALLY, I FEEL LOST. 16 00:01:00,767 --> 00:01:02,767 I HAD NO IDEA DOING THIS WAS GONNA HAVE 17 00:01:02,767 --> 00:01:04,067 THIS KIND OF EFFECT ON ME. 18 00:01:04,067 --> 00:01:06,900 -- Captions by VITAC -- www.vitac.com 19 00:01:06,900 --> 00:01:09,700 CAPTIONS PAID FOR BY DISCOVERY COMMUNICATIONS 20 00:01:09,700 --> 00:01:12,100 WHEN YOU'VE SPENT SO MUCH OF YOUR LIFE RUNNING 21 00:01:12,100 --> 00:01:14,133 TO SOMETHING THAT'S KILLING YOU, 22 00:01:14,133 --> 00:01:17,500 CHANGING THAT IS ALMOST IMPOSSIBLE, 23 00:01:17,500 --> 00:01:19,933 EVEN WHEN YOU REALIZE HOW IT'S GOING TO END 24 00:01:19,933 --> 00:01:21,600 IF YOU DON'T. 25 00:01:32,967 --> 00:01:35,867 I DON'T REMEMBER A TIME WAKING UP 26 00:01:35,867 --> 00:01:38,733 THAT I DIDN'T HURT. 27 00:01:38,733 --> 00:01:42,367 EVERY SINGLE MOLECULE IN MY BODY IS PAINFUL. 28 00:01:45,367 --> 00:01:49,600 TO BE INSIDE OF MY BODY, IT IS PAIN. 29 00:01:49,600 --> 00:01:53,167 IT IS SADNESS. 30 00:01:53,167 --> 00:01:54,967 MOST OF THE TIME, I'M LIKE, 31 00:01:54,967 --> 00:01:57,600 "MAYBE IT WOULD BE BETTER IF I JUST DON'T WAKE UP," 32 00:01:57,600 --> 00:02:01,067 BECAUSE EVERY SINGLE DAY I LOOK AT MYSELF IN THE MIRROR, 33 00:02:01,067 --> 00:02:04,300 AND I'M LIKE, "WHAT DID YOU DO TO YOURSELF?" 34 00:02:04,300 --> 00:02:08,067 A HUMAN BODY SHOULD NOT LOOK THE WAY MY BODY LOOKS. 35 00:02:08,067 --> 00:02:11,233 IT IS THE MOST DISGUSTING THING IN THE WORLD. 36 00:02:11,233 --> 00:02:12,233 [ SIGHS ] 37 00:02:12,233 --> 00:02:13,600 [ WALL CLACKS ] 38 00:02:13,600 --> 00:02:16,933 I'M SO BIG, I'M ALMOST TO THE POINT 39 00:02:16,933 --> 00:02:20,467 WHERE I CAN'T EVEN TAKE CARE OF MYSELF. 40 00:02:20,467 --> 00:02:25,533 IT'S DIFFICULT TO EVEN TRY TO WASH MYSELF. 41 00:02:25,533 --> 00:02:28,900 IT IS THE MOST EXHAUSTING PART OF MY DAY. 42 00:02:28,900 --> 00:02:30,967 AND NO MATTER HOW MUCH I CLEAN MYSELF, 43 00:02:30,967 --> 00:02:33,167 I STILL FEEL LIKE I STINK. 44 00:02:38,067 --> 00:02:41,767 MY HUSBAND DOESN'T SEE ME UNDRESS MOST OF THE TIME. 45 00:02:41,767 --> 00:02:44,300 I DON'T WALK AROUND NAKED BECAUSE I'M AFRAID 46 00:02:44,300 --> 00:02:47,633 THAT HE WILL BE ABSOLUTELY DISGUSTED IF HE SEES ME 47 00:02:47,633 --> 00:02:51,333 AND THAT HE WILL NEVER LOOK AT ME THE SAME WAY AGAIN. 48 00:02:52,467 --> 00:02:56,433 SO I HIDE, AND I DO NOTHING ALL DAY. 49 00:02:56,433 --> 00:03:00,633 I PROBABLY SPEND A GOOD SIX TO EIGHT HOURS ON MY COUCH 50 00:03:00,633 --> 00:03:02,733 EVERY SINGLE DAY. 51 00:03:02,733 --> 00:03:08,133 THE ONLY TIME I DO GET UP IS TO GET FOOD. 52 00:03:09,467 --> 00:03:12,567 I THINK ABOUT FOOD NONSTOP 53 00:03:12,567 --> 00:03:17,067 FROM THE MOMENT I WAKE UP TILL THE MOMENT I GO TO BED. 54 00:03:17,067 --> 00:03:19,867 AND I KNOW THAT'S NOT NORMAL. 55 00:03:21,500 --> 00:03:23,400 BUT I CAN'T REMEMBER A TIME 56 00:03:23,400 --> 00:03:27,067 WHEN FOOD WASN'T THE MOST IMPORTANT THING TO ME. 57 00:03:30,700 --> 00:03:34,433 NOT MANY PEOPLE CAN PINPOINT WHEN THEIR LIFE CHANGED, 58 00:03:34,433 --> 00:03:36,633 BUT I CAN TELL YOU MY LIFE CHANGED 59 00:03:36,633 --> 00:03:40,067 WHEN I WAS 5 YEARS OLD. 60 00:03:40,067 --> 00:03:43,067 I WAS MOLESTED BY A FAMILY MEMBER, 61 00:03:43,067 --> 00:03:47,433 AND MY ABUSE WENT ON FOR SIX YEARS. 62 00:03:47,433 --> 00:03:51,167 IT STILL FEELS LIKE IT HAPPENED YESTERDAY. 63 00:03:51,167 --> 00:03:54,200 IT MADE ME SO CONFUSED ABOUT LIFE. 64 00:03:54,200 --> 00:03:59,433 IF THAT'S WHAT LOVE IS, THEN JUST KEEP IT AWAY FROM ME. 65 00:03:59,433 --> 00:04:03,700 I DIDN'T WANT LOVE, AND I BUILT A WALL. 66 00:04:03,700 --> 00:04:08,267 THE ONLY THING I FOUND ANY TYPE OF HAPPINESS IN WAS 67 00:04:08,267 --> 00:04:12,067 WHEN I COULD GO AND EAT MY FOOD. 68 00:04:12,067 --> 00:04:15,533 AND NO ONE IN MY FAMILY KNEW. 69 00:04:15,533 --> 00:04:17,600 WHEN BRITTANI WAS IN HER YOUNGER YEARS, 70 00:04:17,600 --> 00:04:19,933 I JUST TOOK IT AS SHE WAS A CHUBBY LITTLE GIRL 71 00:04:19,933 --> 00:04:22,100 AND DIDN'T THINK MUCH ABOUT IT. 72 00:04:22,100 --> 00:04:27,100 I DIDN'T CARE. SHE JUST NEEDED TO BE HAPPY. 73 00:04:27,100 --> 00:04:29,567 Brittani: AT DINNERTIMES, I WOULD EAT MY FOOD SO FAST 74 00:04:29,567 --> 00:04:31,567 'CAUSE I JUST NEEDED IT IN ME. 75 00:04:31,567 --> 00:04:34,867 ALL I WANTED WAS FOOD. 76 00:04:34,867 --> 00:04:37,067 I WAS SO ALONE AND SCARED. 77 00:04:37,067 --> 00:04:40,367 I DIDN'T WANT PEOPLE TO SEE HOW VULNERABLE I WAS, 78 00:04:40,367 --> 00:04:45,133 SO I PUT ON MY HAPPY SMILE. 79 00:04:45,133 --> 00:04:48,500 AND I KEPT THAT PAIN AND NEVER LET IT OUT, 80 00:04:48,500 --> 00:04:53,067 AND IT'S NEVER GONE AWAY. 81 00:04:53,067 --> 00:04:54,567 I JUST KEPT EATING, 82 00:04:54,567 --> 00:04:56,333 AND BY THE TIME I GRADUATED HIGH SCHOOL, 83 00:04:56,333 --> 00:04:59,400 I WEIGHED 400 POUNDS. 84 00:04:59,400 --> 00:05:02,567 BUT AFTER I GRADUATED, THINGS GOT BETTER 85 00:05:02,567 --> 00:05:05,633 BECAUSE I MET MY HUSBAND, BILL. 86 00:05:05,633 --> 00:05:08,567 I HAD NEVER HAD A SERIOUS BOYFRIEND, 87 00:05:08,567 --> 00:05:12,800 BUT HE LIKED BIG WOMEN AND THOUGHT I WAS BEAUTIFUL. 88 00:05:12,800 --> 00:05:14,067 Bill: WHEN I FIRST MET HER, TO ME, 89 00:05:14,067 --> 00:05:16,300 BRITTANI SEEMED JUST HAPPY. 90 00:05:16,300 --> 00:05:19,433 HER PERSONALITY WAS BUBBLY, 91 00:05:19,433 --> 00:05:22,233 AND I WANTED TO JOIN THE BUBBLE, I GUESS. 92 00:05:22,233 --> 00:05:23,967 Brittani: SO, WE GOT MARRIED, 93 00:05:23,967 --> 00:05:29,067 AND IT'S BEEN ME AND BILL AGAINST EVERYTHING SINCE THEN. 94 00:05:30,467 --> 00:05:33,100 I NEEDED SOMEONE TO TELL ME THAT I'M OKAY, 95 00:05:33,100 --> 00:05:36,500 AND THAT NEVER HAPPENED BEFORE IN MY LIFE. 96 00:05:36,500 --> 00:05:40,433 BUT I'VE WONDERED IF I'VE BEEN A DISAPPOINTMENT TO HIM. 97 00:05:40,433 --> 00:05:43,333 I WAS 400 POUNDS WHEN WE MET, 98 00:05:43,333 --> 00:05:47,100 BUT I JUST KEPT EATING AND GETTING BIGGER. 99 00:05:47,100 --> 00:05:51,233 AND NOW I RARELY GO OUT AND DO ANYTHING 100 00:05:51,233 --> 00:05:57,667 BECAUSE IT STRESSES ME OUT JUST TO HAVE TO MANEUVER THIS BODY 101 00:05:57,667 --> 00:06:00,100 AROUND THE WORLD. 102 00:06:00,100 --> 00:06:02,267 Bill: WHEN I FIRST MET HER, SHE WAS WORKING EVERY DAY. 103 00:06:02,267 --> 00:06:03,567 WE'D GO OUT. 104 00:06:03,567 --> 00:06:05,500 YOU KNOW, WE'D GO TO DINNER, OR WE'D GO TO THE MOVIES. 105 00:06:05,500 --> 00:06:06,900 WE WERE JUST LIKE EVERYBODY ELSE. 106 00:06:06,900 --> 00:06:08,133 CAN I HAVE A HAND? 107 00:06:08,133 --> 00:06:11,133 NOW SHE ALMOST CAN'T DO ANYTHING ON HER OWN. 108 00:06:11,133 --> 00:06:12,067 THANK YOU. 109 00:06:13,133 --> 00:06:16,367 SHE NEEDS MORE HELP THAN I CAN GIVE HER. 110 00:06:16,367 --> 00:06:18,667 AND I CAN'T MAKE IT BETTER. 111 00:06:18,667 --> 00:06:19,600 I CAN'T FIX IT. 112 00:06:19,600 --> 00:06:21,933 Bill: YOU GOT IT? 113 00:06:23,400 --> 00:06:26,067 Brittani: THE ONLY TIME I EVER TRY TO GO OUT IS 114 00:06:26,067 --> 00:06:27,700 TO SHOP FOR GROCERIES. 115 00:06:31,367 --> 00:06:33,867 I KNOW, BUT I WANT TO MAKE SURE I GET WHAT I WANT. 116 00:06:39,067 --> 00:06:43,933 Brittani: GOING SHOPPING SUCKS ON SO MANY LEVELS. 117 00:06:43,933 --> 00:06:45,367 Brittani: LET'S JUST HURRY AND GET THIS OVER WITH. 118 00:06:45,367 --> 00:06:46,367 Bill: I'VE GOT YOU. 119 00:06:46,367 --> 00:06:47,800 Brittani: IT HURTS. 120 00:06:47,800 --> 00:06:50,633 I HAVE TO RIDE THE LITTLE CARTS. 121 00:06:50,633 --> 00:06:53,900 AND I FEEL LIKE 122 00:06:53,900 --> 00:06:57,933 THE BIGGEST PERSON IN THE WHOLE WORLD, 123 00:06:57,933 --> 00:07:00,067 AND I FEEL LIKE ALL EYES ARE ON ME. 124 00:07:00,067 --> 00:07:02,133 SORRY. I'M SO SORRY. 125 00:07:02,133 --> 00:07:07,133 I WANT TO MAKE BRITTANI HAPPY ANY WAY I CAN. 126 00:07:07,133 --> 00:07:09,500 CHOCOLATE ICE CREAM OR THE -- THE CHOCOLATE ONE. 127 00:07:09,500 --> 00:07:11,533 Bill: I AM A FULL-ON ENABLER, 128 00:07:11,533 --> 00:07:13,567 AND I AM VERY AWARE I'M AN ENABLER. 129 00:07:13,567 --> 00:07:14,700 YEAH. 130 00:07:14,700 --> 00:07:16,500 OKAY. ARE WE DONE? 131 00:07:16,500 --> 00:07:19,067 ACTUALLY, YOU'RE GONNA HAVE TO PARK HERE FOR A MINUTE. 132 00:07:19,067 --> 00:07:20,067 WHY? 133 00:07:20,067 --> 00:07:21,333 I'VE GOT TO GET THE MAC AND CHEESE. 134 00:07:21,333 --> 00:07:23,267 OH [BLEEP] 135 00:07:23,267 --> 00:07:24,267 HOW MANY? 136 00:07:24,267 --> 00:07:25,867 [ SIGHS ] THREE, PLEASE. 137 00:07:25,867 --> 00:07:27,667 THREE? I'LL BE RIGHT BACK. 138 00:07:29,633 --> 00:07:32,167 Bill: I JUST HAD TO GET HER AND THE FOOD HOME AS FAST AS I CAN 139 00:07:32,167 --> 00:07:35,133 BECAUSE SHE'S VERY SELF-AWARE THE WAY PEOPLE ARE LOOKING 140 00:07:35,133 --> 00:07:37,167 AND WHAT PEOPLE SAY. 141 00:07:37,167 --> 00:07:40,267 EVERY SINGLE PERSON WALKS BY ME AND IS LOOKING ME UP AND DOWN 142 00:07:40,267 --> 00:07:41,333 LIKE I'M NOT A PERSON, 143 00:07:41,333 --> 00:07:42,900 LIKE I DON'T HAVE ANY RIGHT TO BE HERE. 144 00:07:42,900 --> 00:07:45,367 I'M A PERSON. 145 00:07:45,367 --> 00:07:47,767 AND THEN, THE PATHETIC LITTLE SMILES THAT THEY DO AT ME 146 00:07:47,767 --> 00:07:50,800 IS JUST ENOUGH TO MAKE ME NOT EVER WANT 147 00:07:50,800 --> 00:07:52,667 TO COME OUT OF MY HOUSE AGAIN. 148 00:07:58,067 --> 00:08:01,333 Bill: THE COMBINATION OF THE PAIN OF ACTUALLY MOVING 149 00:08:01,333 --> 00:08:03,167 AND THEN THE ANXIETY WHICH CAUSES PAIN... 150 00:08:03,167 --> 00:08:04,567 OW! 151 00:08:04,567 --> 00:08:06,467 Bill: ...IT GETS TO A POINT WHERE SHE CAN'T TAKE IT ANYMORE. 152 00:08:06,467 --> 00:08:07,733 SO WHEN THAT HAPPENS, 153 00:08:07,733 --> 00:08:10,133 THE ONLY THING THAT HELPS HER FEEL BETTER IS EATING. 154 00:08:16,867 --> 00:08:18,533 Brittani: WHEN I'M EATING FOOD, 155 00:08:18,533 --> 00:08:21,567 EVERYTHING'S OKAY FOR THAT ONE MOMENT. 156 00:08:21,567 --> 00:08:25,133 NOTHING ELSE MATTERS. I'M NOT THINKING ABOUT THE PAST. 157 00:08:25,133 --> 00:08:26,533 IT'S BLISS. 158 00:08:26,533 --> 00:08:28,067 AND SO I'M CONSTANTLY TRYING 159 00:08:28,067 --> 00:08:30,633 TO FIND THAT MOMENT WHERE I'M OKAY. 160 00:08:31,733 --> 00:08:34,067 Bill: BRITTANI ALONE COULD EAT AS MUCH FOOD 161 00:08:34,067 --> 00:08:36,133 AS A NORMAL FAMILY OF FOUR WOULD ORDER. 162 00:08:36,133 --> 00:08:38,733 ARE THESE MY WINGS? THAT'S YOUR WINGS. 163 00:08:38,733 --> 00:08:42,100 Brittani: I WILL EAT UNTIL I FEEL LIKE I'M GONNA THROW UP, 164 00:08:42,100 --> 00:08:44,300 AND THEN THAT DOESN'T EVEN STOP ME. 165 00:08:48,200 --> 00:08:51,900 AND WHEN I'M DONE, I THINK I AM THE MOST NASTIEST, 166 00:08:51,900 --> 00:08:54,867 MOST DISGUSTING PERSON IN THE WORLD. 167 00:08:54,867 --> 00:08:56,967 AND THEN I NEED TO EAT MORE TO MAKE ME FEEL HAPPY, 168 00:08:56,967 --> 00:08:59,767 AND IT'S JUST A VICIOUS CYCLE. 169 00:08:59,767 --> 00:09:03,700 Bill: SHE ALWAYS WANTS TO EAT, AND I CAN'T TELL HER NO. 170 00:09:03,700 --> 00:09:06,167 NOW BRITTANI'S SIZE IS PREVENTING US 171 00:09:06,167 --> 00:09:09,067 FROM DOING EVERYTHING WE WANT TO DO. 172 00:09:09,067 --> 00:09:11,700 I'M MISSING OUT ON TAKING MY WIFE OUT FOR DINNER, 173 00:09:11,700 --> 00:09:13,800 TAKING MY WIFE ON A DATE. 174 00:09:13,800 --> 00:09:16,867 OUR DATE NIGHTS ARE IN-HOUSE. 175 00:09:16,867 --> 00:09:23,100 Brittani: ME AND MY HUSBAND LIVE VERY SEPARATE, DIFFERENT LIVES. 176 00:09:23,100 --> 00:09:25,767 I'VE NEVER BEEN ABLE TO BE AFFECTIONATE WITH HIM. 177 00:09:25,767 --> 00:09:28,067 WE'RE INTIMATE IN WAYS THAT WE CAN BE, 178 00:09:28,067 --> 00:09:30,467 BUT ACTUAL, PHYSICAL INTERCOURSE, 179 00:09:30,467 --> 00:09:32,133 WE'VE NEVER HAD. 180 00:09:34,233 --> 00:09:36,067 Bill: AS A MARRIED MAN, 181 00:09:36,067 --> 00:09:38,333 I DO WISH THERE WAS MORE INTIMACY, 182 00:09:38,333 --> 00:09:41,467 BUT THAT'S AN IMPOSSIBILITY. 183 00:09:41,467 --> 00:09:43,533 Brittani: ALL I'VE EVER WANTED TO BE IS 184 00:09:43,533 --> 00:09:45,367 A HOUSEWIFE AND A MOMMY, 185 00:09:45,367 --> 00:09:48,467 AND WITH ME BEING THIS SIZE, IT'S PHYSICALLY IMPOSSIBLE. 186 00:09:48,467 --> 00:09:50,700 [BLEEP] 187 00:09:50,700 --> 00:09:54,667 Bill: FOR HAVING CHILDREN, TIME IS RUNNING SHORT. 188 00:09:54,667 --> 00:09:57,567 THE WAY BRITTANI'S BODY AND JOINTS ARE DETERIORATING, 189 00:09:57,567 --> 00:09:58,633 SHE IS GETTING TO THE POINT 190 00:09:58,633 --> 00:10:01,600 WHERE SHE'S PRETTY MUCH HOUSEBOUND. 191 00:10:01,600 --> 00:10:03,867 THE NEXT PROGRESSION IS BEDBOUND, 192 00:10:03,867 --> 00:10:08,700 WHERE SHE'S UNABLE TO TAKE CARE OF HERSELF AT ALL. 193 00:10:08,700 --> 00:10:10,333 IN THE MORNINGS, WHEN I GET UP TO GO 194 00:10:10,333 --> 00:10:12,633 AND SHE'S STILL ASLEEP, I ACTUALLY FIND MYSELF STOPPING 195 00:10:12,633 --> 00:10:14,233 TO MAKE SURE SHE'S STILL BREATHING. 196 00:10:14,233 --> 00:10:16,300 GOOD NIGHT. GOOD NIGHT. 197 00:10:16,300 --> 00:10:18,467 Bill: I LIVE WITH THAT FEAR EVERY DAY. 198 00:10:20,000 --> 00:10:22,133 THIS BODY THAT I'M IN IS 199 00:10:22,133 --> 00:10:26,067 BECAUSE OF THAT LITTLE GIRL SCREAMING INSIDE SAYING, 200 00:10:26,067 --> 00:10:27,433 "NO ONE PROTECTED YOU, 201 00:10:27,433 --> 00:10:29,733 AND SO YOU HAVE TO PROTECT YOURSELF," 202 00:10:29,733 --> 00:10:35,333 BUT BY PROTECTING MYSELF, I'M KILLING MYSELF. 203 00:10:35,333 --> 00:10:39,767 AND I WANT MORE THAN ANYTHING MY WALL TO COME DOWN. 204 00:10:42,900 --> 00:10:44,400 Bill: SO, WE GOT EVERYTHING? 205 00:10:44,400 --> 00:10:47,200 YEAH, I THINK SO. 206 00:10:52,367 --> 00:10:53,667 Brittani: I'M BEYOND DESPERATE. 207 00:10:53,667 --> 00:10:57,167 I'M, LIKE, SCRAPING THE BOTTOM OF THE BARREL RIGHT NOW. 208 00:10:57,167 --> 00:11:00,700 AND I KNOW THAT IF I DON'T DO THIS, 209 00:11:00,700 --> 00:11:02,633 THERE WON'T BE ANYTHING LEFT OF ME. 210 00:11:04,633 --> 00:11:06,500 ANYTIME I WALK OUT MY FRONT DOOR, 211 00:11:06,500 --> 00:11:08,833 IT FEELS LIKE THE WORST DAY OF MY LIFE. 212 00:11:08,833 --> 00:11:11,667 BUT I'M WILLING TO PUT MYSELF OUT THERE 213 00:11:11,667 --> 00:11:15,800 TO GET THE HELP THAT I NEED. 214 00:11:15,800 --> 00:11:18,400 Bill: THIS JOURNEY IS THE BIGGEST RISK WE'VE EVER TAKEN, 215 00:11:18,400 --> 00:11:20,167 AND I'M AFRAID THIS IS THE LAST OPTION. 216 00:11:20,167 --> 00:11:22,867 THERE'S NO OTHER OPTIONS FOR HER. 217 00:11:29,733 --> 00:11:33,400 Brittani: I AM STEPPING WAY OUTSIDE OF MY COMFORT BUBBLE 218 00:11:33,400 --> 00:11:36,867 BECAUSE I NEED HELP. 219 00:11:36,867 --> 00:11:39,800 IT'S BEEN YEARS SINCE I'VE BEEN OUT LIKE THIS, 220 00:11:39,800 --> 00:11:42,700 AND I'M SCARED. 221 00:11:42,700 --> 00:11:47,300 BUT IF I DO NOT CHANGE, I WILL DIE. 222 00:11:53,267 --> 00:11:55,667 Brittani: IT'S BEEN A LONG TRIP TO HOUSTON, 223 00:11:55,667 --> 00:11:57,233 BUT WE'RE FINALLY HERE, 224 00:11:57,233 --> 00:12:01,633 AND I'M ABOUT TO SEE THE DOCTOR FOR THE FIRST TIME. 225 00:12:01,633 --> 00:12:03,467 I REALLY HOPE THAT HE SAYS 226 00:12:03,467 --> 00:12:06,567 I CAN BE A CANDIDATE FOR WEIGHT-LOSS SURGERY. 227 00:12:06,567 --> 00:12:08,267 MS. FULFER? 228 00:12:08,267 --> 00:12:11,300 I WANT THIS MORE THAN I'VE EVER WANTED ANYTHING IN MY LIFE. 229 00:12:11,300 --> 00:12:14,167 SO, I'M NERVOUS TO FIND OUT WHAT MY WEIGHT IS 230 00:12:14,167 --> 00:12:18,367 BECAUSE I HAVE NOT BEEN WEIGHED IN A LONG TIME. 231 00:12:22,633 --> 00:12:26,733 I DIDN'T REALIZE I HAD LET MYSELF GO THAT BAD. 232 00:12:26,733 --> 00:12:30,733 I'VE NEVER WEIGHED THAT MUCH BEFORE EVER. 233 00:12:30,733 --> 00:12:34,933 I FEEL LIKE A COMPLETE AND UTTER FAILURE RIGHT NOW. 234 00:12:36,933 --> 00:12:40,600 I'M JUST SO DISAPPOINTED IN MYSELF. 235 00:12:40,600 --> 00:12:42,200 -HELLO. -HI. 236 00:12:42,200 --> 00:12:43,500 I'M DR. NOWZARADAN. 237 00:12:43,500 --> 00:12:44,967 IT'S NICE TO MEET YOU. 238 00:12:44,967 --> 00:12:47,300 AND YOU'RE BRITTANI, HUH? YEAH, BRITTANI. 239 00:12:47,300 --> 00:12:50,233 SO, YOU'RE OVER 600 POUNDS. 240 00:12:50,233 --> 00:12:51,333 MM-HMM. 241 00:12:51,333 --> 00:12:53,633 WHAT DO YOU THINK GOT YOU TO THIS WEIGHT? 242 00:12:53,633 --> 00:12:55,667 EMOTIONAL EATING IN GENERAL. 243 00:12:55,667 --> 00:12:58,633 STRESS, DEPRESSION, ANXIETY, BUT I ALSO EAT 244 00:12:58,633 --> 00:13:01,100 WHEN I'M HAPPY AND WHEN THINGS ARE GOING GOOD. 245 00:13:01,100 --> 00:13:02,700 I JUST EAT. 246 00:13:02,700 --> 00:13:06,733 BRITTANI CLEARLY IS A COMPULSIVE EATER. 247 00:13:06,733 --> 00:13:12,100 THIS TYPE OF BEHAVIOR IS USUALLY THE RESULT OF EMOTIONAL TRAUMA. 248 00:13:12,100 --> 00:13:14,533 WHEN AN ENABLER IS INVOLVED, 249 00:13:14,533 --> 00:13:17,967 IT IS ONE OF THE MOST DIFFICULT DYNAMICS TO BREAK. 250 00:13:17,967 --> 00:13:21,400 SO, YOU'RE OVERWEIGHT, AND HE'S OVERWEIGHT. 251 00:13:21,400 --> 00:13:22,467 -YEAH. -YEAH. 252 00:13:22,467 --> 00:13:24,200 IT'S GONNA BE VERY HARD TO CHANGE IT 253 00:13:24,200 --> 00:13:27,600 UNLESS WE CHANGE THE WHOLE DYNAMIC OF THE HOUSEHOLD. 254 00:13:27,600 --> 00:13:29,967 LET ME JUST LISTEN TO YOUR HEART. 255 00:13:29,967 --> 00:13:32,733 DO YOU GET SHORT OF BREATH WITH ACTIVITY? 256 00:13:32,733 --> 00:13:36,067 YEAH, JUST FROM WALKING FROM THE WAITING ROOM 257 00:13:36,067 --> 00:13:38,500 TO THE SCALE EVEN, I WAS, LIKE... 258 00:13:38,500 --> 00:13:40,400 -HUFFING AND PUFFING. -MM-HMM. 259 00:13:40,400 --> 00:13:42,133 YOU'RE EATING YOURSELF TO DEATH, 260 00:13:42,133 --> 00:13:44,933 AND YOU'RE HELPING HER TO DO IT. 261 00:13:46,667 --> 00:13:50,333 THIS IS GOING TO BE VERY DIFFICULT FOR THEM BOTH. 262 00:13:50,333 --> 00:13:53,700 BUT I HAVE TO SEE IF BRITTANI HAS THE ABILITY 263 00:13:53,700 --> 00:13:57,200 TO GET CONTROL OF HER COMPULSIVE-EATING HABIT. 264 00:13:57,200 --> 00:14:01,300 IF SHE DOESN'T, SURGERY IS NOT GOING TO HELP. 265 00:14:01,300 --> 00:14:03,300 AT THIS POINT, YOU'RE NOT GONNA BE A CANDIDATE 266 00:14:03,300 --> 00:14:05,067 FOR ANY KIND OF SURGERY. 267 00:14:05,067 --> 00:14:07,067 BUT YOU CAN GET TO THAT POINT 268 00:14:07,067 --> 00:14:10,900 BY LOSING SOME WEIGHT AND CHANGING YOUR EATING HABITS. 269 00:14:10,900 --> 00:14:14,300 SO, FREQUENCY OF EATING HAS TO BE ONLY THREE TIMES A DAY. 270 00:14:14,300 --> 00:14:15,533 NO -- NO SNACKS? 271 00:14:15,533 --> 00:14:16,767 LIKE, NOT EVEN CARROTS OR NOTHING? 272 00:14:16,767 --> 00:14:18,767 NO SNACKS. NO. 273 00:14:18,767 --> 00:14:20,200 OKAY. 274 00:14:23,633 --> 00:14:24,633 OKAY. 275 00:14:24,633 --> 00:14:25,867 IF YOU CHANGE YOUR HABIT, 276 00:14:25,867 --> 00:14:28,100 YOU SHOULD BE ABLE TO LOSE 40 POUNDS IN ONE MONTH. 277 00:14:28,100 --> 00:14:30,100 -OKAY. -THIS IS GONNA BE SOMETHING 278 00:14:30,100 --> 00:14:32,200 THAT YOU'RE BOTH GONNA HAVE TO WORK ON. 279 00:14:32,200 --> 00:14:33,433 I CAN DO THAT. 280 00:14:33,433 --> 00:14:36,200 THE TIME TO DO THIS IS NOW. 281 00:14:36,200 --> 00:14:37,567 OKAY. 282 00:14:40,833 --> 00:14:42,400 I AM DEFINITELY DISAPPOINTED 283 00:14:42,400 --> 00:14:45,367 TO HEAR THAT I'M NOT A CANDIDATE. 284 00:14:45,367 --> 00:14:48,233 BUT I KNOW THAT I HAVE TO CHANGE 285 00:14:48,233 --> 00:14:50,833 AS SOON AS I WALK OUT OF THIS OFFICE. 286 00:14:50,833 --> 00:14:54,767 I HONESTLY HAVE NO IDEA HOW I'M GONNA CONTROL MY ANXIETY. 287 00:14:54,767 --> 00:14:57,800 IT'S GONNA BE THE MOST DIFFICULT THING I'VE EVER DONE. 288 00:14:57,800 --> 00:15:01,767 BUT I HAVE TO DO THIS NO MATTER WHAT. 289 00:15:05,667 --> 00:15:08,633 [ TRAIN BELL DINGING ] 290 00:15:10,367 --> 00:15:12,300 Brittani: CAN YOU COME EAT BREAKFAST? 291 00:15:13,733 --> 00:15:15,767 Brittani: SINCE MY VISIT WITH DR. NOW, 292 00:15:15,767 --> 00:15:18,133 I'VE BEEN REALLY STRICT ON MY DIET, 293 00:15:18,133 --> 00:15:22,267 LITERALLY WRITING EVERY SINGLE THING DOWN THAT I EAT. 294 00:15:22,267 --> 00:15:23,833 Bill: THE DOCTOR WANTS US TO EAT PROTEIN. 295 00:15:23,833 --> 00:15:24,800 WE'RE EATING PROTEIN. 296 00:15:25,667 --> 00:15:27,967 AND MY HUSBAND'S BEEN DOING IT WITH ME, AS WELL, 297 00:15:27,967 --> 00:15:30,233 SO TEAMWORK MAKES IT BETTER. 298 00:15:32,767 --> 00:15:36,467 I'VE NEVER, EVER LOST WEIGHT IN MY LIFE, 299 00:15:36,467 --> 00:15:43,733 SO TO TRY TO LOSE 40 POUNDS SEEMS IMPOSSIBLE. 300 00:15:43,733 --> 00:15:46,633 IT'S BEEN HARD, BUT HOPEFULLY IT WILL PAY OFF. 301 00:15:49,467 --> 00:15:52,467 I WANT THIS CHANCE TO LIVE, AND I KNOW THAT. 302 00:15:52,467 --> 00:15:55,633 THE DOCTOR CAN'T TREAT ME IF I'M NOT CLOSE BY, 303 00:15:55,633 --> 00:15:58,833 SO WE'RE MOVING TO HOUSTON. 304 00:15:58,833 --> 00:16:01,267 I KNOW I MIGHT NOT GET THE SURGERY, 305 00:16:01,267 --> 00:16:05,733 BUT THIS IS MY LAST CHANCE, SO I'M GOING ALL-IN. 306 00:16:05,733 --> 00:16:10,067 I AM LEAVING EVERYTHING I KNOW TO SAVE MY LIFE. 307 00:16:13,067 --> 00:16:15,933 LET'S GO. 308 00:16:15,933 --> 00:16:19,400 I'M SCARED BECAUSE I'M LEAVING MY HOME. 309 00:16:19,400 --> 00:16:22,933 ALL MY FAMILY IS HERE. MY FRIENDS ARE HERE. 310 00:16:22,933 --> 00:16:26,067 BUT THIS MOVE IS NOT JUST ABOUT ME. 311 00:16:26,067 --> 00:16:30,900 THIS MOVE IS ABOUT ME AND MY HUSBAND AND OUR MARRIAGE. 312 00:16:30,900 --> 00:16:33,667 I DON'T WANT TO BE SOMEONE WHO'S TAKEN CARE OF. 313 00:16:33,667 --> 00:16:36,567 I WANT TO BE THE WIFE THAT HE DESERVES. 314 00:16:36,567 --> 00:16:38,067 Bill: YOU READY TO DO THIS? 315 00:16:38,067 --> 00:16:39,367 Brittani: YES. 316 00:16:43,100 --> 00:16:45,900 Brittani: I'VE NEVER BEEN ON A ROAD TRIP LIKE THIS, 317 00:16:45,900 --> 00:16:49,900 AND I'M SCARED I MIGHT NOT MAKE THE JOURNEY. 318 00:16:49,900 --> 00:16:53,200 Brittani: FROM TUALATIN TO HOUSTON 319 00:16:53,200 --> 00:16:54,900 WILL TAKE US SIX DAYS, 320 00:16:54,900 --> 00:16:58,767 AND I'VE NEVER DRIVEN MORE THAN THREE HOURS IN A CAR 321 00:16:58,767 --> 00:16:59,867 AT THIS WEIGHT. 322 00:16:59,867 --> 00:17:05,133 SO THIS IS PRETTY TERRIFYING. 323 00:17:05,133 --> 00:17:07,900 Brittani: BUT I KNOW THERE'S A WHOLE WORLD OUT THERE 324 00:17:07,900 --> 00:17:09,067 FOR ME TO SEE. 325 00:17:09,067 --> 00:17:11,667 Brittani: [ GASPS ] OH, MY GOODNESS! 326 00:17:11,667 --> 00:17:14,200 THAT'S HUGE! 327 00:17:14,200 --> 00:17:16,867 Brittani: IF IT'S NOT ON TV OR IN A GROCERY STORE, 328 00:17:16,867 --> 00:17:19,067 I'VE BEEN MISSING IT. 329 00:17:19,067 --> 00:17:20,833 I WANT TO GET MY LIFE BACK, 330 00:17:20,833 --> 00:17:22,367 AND I'M WILLING TO DO WHATEVER IT TAKES. 331 00:17:22,367 --> 00:17:24,633 Bill: MUSHROOM CHICKEN WITH VEGGIES. 332 00:17:24,633 --> 00:17:27,100 SO FAR, ON THIS TRIP, 333 00:17:27,100 --> 00:17:31,133 I'M STICKING TO HIGH PROTEIN LOW CARBS. 334 00:17:31,133 --> 00:17:34,233 A COUPLE MONTHS AGO, IT WOULD HAVE BEEN 335 00:17:34,233 --> 00:17:36,700 BREADED CHICKEN AND THREE TIMES AS MUCH FOOD 336 00:17:36,700 --> 00:17:39,233 AND A SUGARY SODA. 337 00:17:39,233 --> 00:17:41,300 I'VE WASTED SO MUCH TIME. 338 00:17:41,300 --> 00:17:43,233 I'M READY FOR A CHANGE. 339 00:17:46,167 --> 00:17:48,967 IT'S BEEN SIX DAYS SINCE WE LEFT HOME, 340 00:17:48,967 --> 00:17:50,900 AND WE'RE FINALLY HERE. 341 00:17:50,900 --> 00:17:52,933 Bill: WE MADE IT. 342 00:17:52,933 --> 00:17:54,700 YOU READY? 343 00:17:54,700 --> 00:17:56,700 I DON'T KNOW. I KIND OF GOT SAD ALL OF A SUDDEN. 344 00:17:56,700 --> 00:17:58,967 -WHY? -'CAUSE IT'S NOT HOME. 345 00:18:04,133 --> 00:18:05,500 [ SIGHS ] 346 00:18:05,500 --> 00:18:08,200 Brittani: I'VE NEVER BEEN THIS FAR AWAY FROM HOME. 347 00:18:10,300 --> 00:18:13,567 I'M ANXIOUS RIGHT NOW BECAUSE THIS PLACE IS SO NEW. 348 00:18:16,467 --> 00:18:19,433 [ BREATHING HEAVILY ] 349 00:18:23,367 --> 00:18:25,333 WELL, WHAT DO YOU THINK? 350 00:18:25,333 --> 00:18:28,133 IT'S KIND OF SINKING IN, AND I DON'T LIKE IT. 351 00:18:28,133 --> 00:18:30,067 Bill: BRITTANI IS MISSING HOME, 352 00:18:30,067 --> 00:18:33,167 AND SHE'S PROBABLY ANXIOUS AND SCARED ABOUT WHAT'S TO COME, 353 00:18:33,167 --> 00:18:35,233 SO I WANT TO GET THIS PLACE SET UP 354 00:18:35,233 --> 00:18:37,800 AS QUICKLY AS I CAN SO BRITTANI CAN BE COMFORTABLE. 355 00:18:37,800 --> 00:18:40,067 BECAUSE SHE CAN'T GIVE UP AND WANT TO GO BACK. 356 00:18:40,067 --> 00:18:42,900 WE NEED TO BE HERE AND DO THIS. 357 00:18:43,933 --> 00:18:46,700 Brittani: IT'S JUST HARD. AND IT IS SCARY. 358 00:18:46,700 --> 00:18:49,333 BUT I KNOW THIS IS WHAT I HAVE TO DO. 359 00:18:49,333 --> 00:18:52,067 THE THING THAT SCARES ME THE ABSOLUTE MOST IS 360 00:18:52,067 --> 00:18:54,667 THAT DR. NOW IS GONNA SAY NO, 361 00:18:54,667 --> 00:18:59,533 SO THAT I DID THIS WHOLE THING FOR NOTHING. 362 00:19:08,067 --> 00:19:10,833 [ BREATHES DEEPLY ] 363 00:19:10,833 --> 00:19:12,667 MS. FULFER? 364 00:19:12,667 --> 00:19:16,233 I HOPE THE DOCTOR APPROVES ME THIS TIME. 365 00:19:16,233 --> 00:19:19,700 I'VE DONE EVERYTHING I CAN FOR THE PAST MONTH. 366 00:19:19,700 --> 00:19:22,500 I HOPE THAT THIS HAS ALL BEEN ENOUGH, 367 00:19:22,500 --> 00:19:25,933 BECAUSE I NEED THIS SURGERY MORE THAN ANYTHING. 368 00:19:25,933 --> 00:19:28,933 I NEED THE SURGERY TO LIVE. 369 00:19:42,533 --> 00:19:45,267 Brittani: I'M SO ANXIOUS RIGHT NOW. 370 00:19:46,300 --> 00:19:48,400 I HAVE TO HAVE LOST THE 40 POUNDS 371 00:19:48,400 --> 00:19:50,700 THE DOCTOR NEEDED ME TO TO GET APPROVED. 372 00:19:50,700 --> 00:19:52,633 EVERYTHING I'VE DONE HAS TO HAVE BEEN ENOUGH. 373 00:19:55,233 --> 00:19:57,933 Woman: OKAY, 570. 374 00:19:59,500 --> 00:20:02,233 I'M A LITTLE DISCOURAGED RIGHT NOW. 375 00:20:02,233 --> 00:20:05,967 I DON'T FEEL LIKE IT'S QUITE THE VICTORY I WANTED, 376 00:20:05,967 --> 00:20:07,900 AND I'M SCARED THE DOCTOR'S GONNA TELL ME 377 00:20:07,900 --> 00:20:10,267 THAT THIS ISN'T ENOUGH. 378 00:20:10,267 --> 00:20:11,933 [ SIGHS ] [ KNOCK ON DOOR ] 379 00:20:11,933 --> 00:20:13,600 -HELLO. -HI. 380 00:20:13,600 --> 00:20:16,467 SO, HOW YOU DOING TODAY? 381 00:20:16,467 --> 00:20:20,300 I AM OKAY -- TIRED. LONG ROAD TRIP FROM OREGON. 382 00:20:20,300 --> 00:20:22,767 -AND YOU'RE STAYING? -YEAH, WE MOVED HERE. 383 00:20:22,767 --> 00:20:25,067 -OH, SUPER, SUPER. -YEAH. 384 00:20:25,067 --> 00:20:26,433 HOW IS YOUR DIET DOING? 385 00:20:26,433 --> 00:20:29,533 I'VE DONE REALLY WELL, STAYED WITHIN 1,200 CALORIES, 386 00:20:29,533 --> 00:20:31,200 VERY LITTLE CARBS. 387 00:20:31,200 --> 00:20:32,767 SO, I THINK I'VE DONE REALLY WELL. 388 00:20:32,767 --> 00:20:35,467 SO, THE DIET IS WORKING FOR YOU. 389 00:20:35,467 --> 00:20:36,967 SO, AM I ON THE RIGHT PATH? 390 00:20:36,967 --> 00:20:38,833 AM I DOING -- I'M DOING OKAY? 391 00:20:38,833 --> 00:20:41,067 -YEAH, YOU'RE DOING GOOD. -REALLY? 392 00:20:41,067 --> 00:20:43,900 YOU UNDERSTAND THE PROCESS, AND YOU WERE ABLE 393 00:20:43,900 --> 00:20:46,067 TO MAKE CHANGES TO YOUR EATING HABITS, 394 00:20:46,067 --> 00:20:48,833 SO YOU'RE A GOOD CANDIDATE FOR SURGERY. 395 00:20:48,833 --> 00:20:49,967 -THANK YOU. -OKAY? 396 00:20:49,967 --> 00:20:51,267 THANK YOU SO MUCH. 397 00:20:51,267 --> 00:20:53,400 Dr. Nowzaradan: BRITTANI HAS DONE VERY WELL. 398 00:20:53,400 --> 00:20:55,200 SHE'S LOST 35 POUNDS. 399 00:20:55,200 --> 00:20:57,900 IT'S NOT QUITE 40 POUNDS, BUT SHE SHOWED ME 400 00:20:57,900 --> 00:21:01,067 THAT SHE'S ABLE TO CONTROL HER EATING HABIT. 401 00:21:01,067 --> 00:21:03,467 AND SHE MADE THE MOVE TO HOUSTON, 402 00:21:03,467 --> 00:21:05,800 AND THAT TELLS ME THAT SHE'S VERY SERIOUS 403 00:21:05,800 --> 00:21:07,600 ABOUT BYPASS SURGERY. 404 00:21:07,600 --> 00:21:09,667 CONTINUE TO STICK WITH YOUR DIET. 405 00:21:09,667 --> 00:21:12,467 AND NEXT MONTH, I WANT TO SET YOU UP FOR SURGERY. 406 00:21:12,467 --> 00:21:14,967 WOW. OKAY, WE CAN DO THIS. 407 00:21:14,967 --> 00:21:16,733 -I'LL SEE YOU LATER. -THANK YOU, SIR. 408 00:21:16,733 --> 00:21:17,933 ALL RIGHT, WELCOME TO TEXAS. 409 00:21:17,933 --> 00:21:19,633 -THANK YOU. -[ CHUCKLES ] 410 00:21:21,200 --> 00:21:22,767 SEE? I TOLD YOU NOT TO WORRY. 411 00:21:22,767 --> 00:21:24,400 -I'M A CANDIDATE. -I TOLD YOU. 412 00:21:24,400 --> 00:21:25,733 [ BOTH LAUGH ] 413 00:21:25,733 --> 00:21:26,733 LET'S DO THIS. 414 00:21:26,733 --> 00:21:28,600 Brittani: I'M REALLY EXCITED. 415 00:21:28,600 --> 00:21:30,300 AFTER I SAW MY WEIGHT 416 00:21:30,300 --> 00:21:33,100 AND I SAW THAT I HADN'T HIT THE 40-POUND LOSS, 417 00:21:33,100 --> 00:21:34,833 I THOUGHT THAT WAS IT. 418 00:21:36,700 --> 00:21:40,067 THIS IS PRETTY MUCH A DREAM COME TRUE. 419 00:21:54,567 --> 00:21:56,333 I JUST DON'T WANT TO BE IN PAIN. 420 00:21:56,333 --> 00:21:57,967 THEY'RE GONNA FIX YOU UP REALLY GOOD, OKAY? 421 00:21:57,967 --> 00:21:59,400 -OKAY, MOM. -ALL RIGHT. 422 00:21:59,400 --> 00:22:01,067 ALL RIGHT, LOVE YOU. -LOVE YOU, TOO. 423 00:22:01,067 --> 00:22:06,267 I'M SUPER-NERVOUS, BUT MY MOMMY AND BILL ARE HERE, 424 00:22:06,267 --> 00:22:08,733 AND HAVING THEM HERE HELPS A LOT. 425 00:22:10,100 --> 00:22:11,833 WAITING FOR DR. NOW. 426 00:22:11,833 --> 00:22:14,500 Brittani: I'M VERY SCARED OF THE RISKS OF SURGERY. 427 00:22:14,500 --> 00:22:16,767 BUT THIS IS GOING TO GIVE ME A LIFE 428 00:22:16,767 --> 00:22:20,267 OF BEING ABLE TO DO EVERYTHING I'VE EVER WANTED. 429 00:22:20,267 --> 00:22:22,200 Bill: BRITTANI IS EVERYTHING TO ME, 430 00:22:22,200 --> 00:22:24,833 SO IF SOMETHING DOES GO WRONG, IT WOULD BE DEVASTATING. 431 00:22:25,500 --> 00:22:27,833 BUT THIS IS THE FIRST STEP IN A LONG JOURNEY 432 00:22:27,833 --> 00:22:31,400 OF WEIGHT LOSS AND GETTING HEALTHY. 433 00:22:31,400 --> 00:22:34,233 I'M JUST SCARED I'M NOT GONNA WAKE UP. 434 00:22:34,233 --> 00:22:37,967 ALL I'VE EVER WANTED WAS TO BE A WIFE AND A MOTHER, 435 00:22:37,967 --> 00:22:40,067 AND I'M NOT STOPPING FOR ANYTHING. 436 00:22:40,067 --> 00:22:41,433 Woman: DEEP BREATHS, BRITTANI. 437 00:22:41,433 --> 00:22:42,400 DEEP BREATHS. 438 00:22:44,433 --> 00:22:46,167 Dr. Nowzaradan: TODAY, WE'RE GOING TO DO 439 00:22:46,167 --> 00:22:49,633 GASTRIC BYPASS ON BRITTANI. 440 00:22:49,633 --> 00:22:52,900 GASTRIC BYPASS IS THE MOST EFFECTIVE METHOD 441 00:22:52,900 --> 00:22:54,300 OF WEIGHT-LOSS SURGERY. 442 00:22:54,300 --> 00:22:58,333 WE'RE GONNA START MAKING THE INCISION. 443 00:22:58,333 --> 00:23:01,967 BEFORE SURGERY, THE PATIENT'S STOMACH CAN BE 444 00:23:01,967 --> 00:23:03,833 AS BIG AS A FOOTBALL. 445 00:23:03,833 --> 00:23:08,433 WE'RE GONNA REDUCE IT TO THE SIZE OF A TENNIS BALL. 446 00:23:08,433 --> 00:23:09,833 THIS WILL LIMIT 447 00:23:09,833 --> 00:23:13,300 THE AMOUNT OF FOOD THEY CAN EAT IN ONE SITTING. 448 00:23:13,300 --> 00:23:15,800 Dr. Nowzaradan: PULL BACK ON THE CAMERA MORE. 449 00:23:15,800 --> 00:23:18,700 THE RESULT IS THE PATIENT EATS LESS, 450 00:23:18,700 --> 00:23:21,600 ABSORBS LESS, AND LOSE A LOT OF WEIGHT. 451 00:23:21,600 --> 00:23:23,567 Dr. Nowzaradan: COME ON DOWN. COME ON DOWN. 452 00:23:24,267 --> 00:23:26,267 Bill: I'M WONDERING, AS SHE'S GOING THROUGH THE SURGERY, 453 00:23:26,267 --> 00:23:27,600 HOW IT'S GOING. 454 00:23:27,600 --> 00:23:28,700 THERE'S ALWAYS, IN THE BACK OF YOUR MIND, 455 00:23:28,700 --> 00:23:29,733 THAT SOMETHING COULD GO WRONG 456 00:23:29,733 --> 00:23:32,100 JUST 'CAUSE ANYTHING COULD HAPPEN. 457 00:23:32,100 --> 00:23:34,767 ALL RIGHT. WE'RE DONE. 458 00:23:38,467 --> 00:23:40,500 Dr. Nowzaradan: BRITTANI'S SURGERY WENT VERY WELL. 459 00:23:40,500 --> 00:23:43,900 WE WERE ABLE TO DO HER GASTRIC BYPASS, 460 00:23:43,900 --> 00:23:45,067 AND SHE'S DOING FINE. 461 00:23:45,067 --> 00:23:47,067 ALL THE WAY OVER. ALL THE WAY OVER. 462 00:23:47,067 --> 00:23:48,100 THERE WE GO. 463 00:23:48,100 --> 00:23:50,300 OKAY, SLOW, DEEP BREATHS, BRITTANI, OKAY? 464 00:23:50,300 --> 00:23:55,800 THIS SURGERY IS GONNA HELP HER TO MAKE MUCH MORE PROGRESS. 465 00:23:55,800 --> 00:23:59,900 BUT IN THE END, IT'S ONLY A TOOL. 466 00:23:59,900 --> 00:24:03,233 BECAUSE OF THE SURGERY, FOOD IS NOT GOING TO BE 467 00:24:03,233 --> 00:24:06,100 A COPING MECHANISM FOR HER ANYMORE. 468 00:24:06,100 --> 00:24:09,500 SHE CAN CHOOSE TO MAKE IT ONE AGAIN 469 00:24:09,500 --> 00:24:11,733 OR TAKE THIS CHANCE TO ACTUALLY COPE 470 00:24:11,733 --> 00:24:15,067 WITH WHAT IS DRIVING HER TO EAT. 471 00:24:15,067 --> 00:24:18,533 WE'RE GIVING HER AN OPPORTUNITY WITH THIS SURGERY. 472 00:24:18,533 --> 00:24:21,567 WHAT SHE DOES WITH IT IS UP TO HER. 473 00:24:27,633 --> 00:24:29,100 ARE YOU READY TO WALK? 474 00:24:29,100 --> 00:24:31,267 -IF I HAVE TO. -YES, MA'AM. 475 00:24:31,267 --> 00:24:34,300 Brittani: THE PAST FEW DAYS HAVE BEEN REALLY HARD. 476 00:24:34,300 --> 00:24:37,667 I'M STRUGGLING WITH STAYING MOTIVATED. 477 00:24:40,067 --> 00:24:41,833 WHEN I WOKE UP FROM SURGERY, 478 00:24:41,833 --> 00:24:45,500 I WOKE UP TO A WHOLE NEW REALITY. 479 00:24:45,500 --> 00:24:48,967 FOR THE FIRST TIME IN MY LIFE, I DIDN'T HAVE CRAVINGS. 480 00:24:52,167 --> 00:24:53,367 I DIDN'T REALIZE 481 00:24:53,367 --> 00:24:56,300 HOW MUCH I WAS USING FOOD TO HELP ME FEEL SAFE. 482 00:24:56,300 --> 00:24:57,767 AND JUST THE FACT 483 00:24:57,767 --> 00:25:02,067 THAT I KNEW IT WAS THERE WHEN I NEEDED IT WAS COMFORT. 484 00:25:03,733 --> 00:25:05,633 OH, S-S-SHH... 485 00:25:05,633 --> 00:25:08,100 -ARE YOU HURTING? -MM-HMM. 486 00:25:08,100 --> 00:25:11,700 NOW IT'S NOT, AND I HAD NO IDEA THAT DOING THIS WAS GONNA HAVE 487 00:25:11,700 --> 00:25:14,800 THIS KIND OF EFFECT ON ME. 488 00:25:14,800 --> 00:25:17,433 I HAVE TO KEEP TELLING MYSELF IT WILL BE OKAY, 489 00:25:17,433 --> 00:25:21,933 BECAUSE IF NOT, THEN I'LL FREAK OUT. 490 00:25:21,933 --> 00:25:26,133 MY FOOD WAS MY BEST FRIEND. 491 00:25:26,133 --> 00:25:30,133 I TURNED TO IT WHEN I WAS HAPPY. I TURNED TO IT WHEN I WAS SAD. 492 00:25:30,133 --> 00:25:32,800 I FEEL LIKE I'VE LOST SOMEONE CLOSE TO ME, 493 00:25:32,800 --> 00:25:36,100 SO IT IS A GRIEVING PROCESS. 494 00:25:36,100 --> 00:25:39,100 MY WHOLE WORLD HAS BEEN TURNED UPSIDE-DOWN, 495 00:25:39,100 --> 00:25:43,900 AND I'M NOT SURE HOW TO DEAL WITH IT. 496 00:25:48,400 --> 00:25:50,067 Brittani: THERE COMES A MOMENT WHEN YOU HAVE TO TRUST 497 00:25:50,067 --> 00:25:53,800 WHAT YOU KNOW IS TRUE 498 00:25:53,800 --> 00:25:57,833 OR BELIEVE THE LIE THAT WILL EVENTUALLY KILL YOU. 499 00:26:07,700 --> 00:26:09,767 MOMMY, ARE YOU READY FOR LUNCH? 500 00:26:09,767 --> 00:26:11,400 Stacy: WAY READY. 501 00:26:16,667 --> 00:26:18,400 MOVE, BABY BOY. 502 00:26:20,267 --> 00:26:24,433 Brittani: I'VE BEEN HOME FROM SURGERY FOR OVER A MONTH NOW, 503 00:26:24,433 --> 00:26:28,133 AND EACH DAY HAS SEEMED HARDER AND HARDER. 504 00:26:28,133 --> 00:26:31,100 EVERYTHING IS SO DIFFERENT NOW. 505 00:26:33,600 --> 00:26:40,067 MENTALLY, I FEEL LOST AND CONFUSED AND REALLY UNSURE. 506 00:26:40,067 --> 00:26:42,133 BUT THE DRAW I HAD TO FOOD 507 00:26:42,133 --> 00:26:45,900 AND THE COMFORT IT BROUGHT ME IS GONE. 508 00:26:45,900 --> 00:26:49,900 SO I DON'T REALLY ENJOY EATING, WHICH MAKES ME SAD. 509 00:26:49,900 --> 00:26:53,500 AND IT'S HARD TO FORCE MYSELF TO EAT. 510 00:26:53,500 --> 00:26:57,933 BRITTANI HAS BEEN EXPERIENCING LACK OF APPETITE IN GENERAL, 511 00:26:57,933 --> 00:27:01,567 SO IT'S BEEN REALLY A CHALLENGE TO GET HER TO CONSUME 512 00:27:01,567 --> 00:27:03,600 WHAT SHE SHOULD IN A DAY. 513 00:27:03,600 --> 00:27:05,067 IT LOOKS GOOD. 514 00:27:05,067 --> 00:27:07,267 COME ON, SHELDON. 515 00:27:07,267 --> 00:27:09,233 I NEED A PIECE OF BACON. 516 00:27:09,233 --> 00:27:12,500 WELL, WE CAN'T HAVE BACON. 517 00:27:12,500 --> 00:27:16,600 Brittani: BEFORE, I COULD EAT ANYTHING I WANTED. 518 00:27:16,600 --> 00:27:19,600 NOW IT JUST ISN'T FUN TO EAT. 519 00:27:19,600 --> 00:27:21,967 IT DOESN'T BRING ME ANY PLEASURE, 520 00:27:21,967 --> 00:27:24,367 SO EVERYTHING REALLY TASTES DISGUSTING, 521 00:27:24,367 --> 00:27:27,167 AND I DON'T WANT TO EAT IF IT'S DISGUSTING. 522 00:27:27,167 --> 00:27:29,067 I'M HUNGRY. 523 00:27:29,067 --> 00:27:30,900 Stacy: BRITTANI'S BEEN HAVING ANXIETY 524 00:27:30,900 --> 00:27:34,400 ABOUT IF SHE MADE A MISTAKE OR NOT. 525 00:27:34,400 --> 00:27:37,467 I REALIZED THAT THERE WOULD BE SOME REALLY, REALLY ROUGH TIMES 526 00:27:37,467 --> 00:27:39,067 FOR BRITTANI'S RECOVERY, 527 00:27:39,067 --> 00:27:42,833 BUT TO WATCH HER STRUGGLE WITH IT SO WORRIES ME. 528 00:27:46,367 --> 00:27:47,900 I KNOW. 529 00:27:47,900 --> 00:27:49,467 HERE, SHELDON. 530 00:27:52,267 --> 00:27:54,967 I'M DONE. [ SNIFFLES ] 531 00:27:54,967 --> 00:27:58,133 Brittani: IF THIS IS WHAT I HAVE TO DO TO LIVE, 532 00:27:58,133 --> 00:28:00,167 I'M NOT SURE IT'S WORTH IT. 533 00:28:12,900 --> 00:28:14,800 MY MOM'S BEEN REALLY WORRIED ABOUT ME 534 00:28:14,800 --> 00:28:17,067 THE PAST COUPLE OF MONTHS, 535 00:28:17,067 --> 00:28:21,067 SO SHE CONVINCED ME TO GO SEE A THERAPIST TO TALK ABOUT THINGS. 536 00:28:24,933 --> 00:28:30,433 I'M STILL NOT EATING MUCH AND STILL REALLY DON'T WANT TO. 537 00:28:30,433 --> 00:28:32,367 AND I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO. 538 00:28:32,367 --> 00:28:33,800 -HI, BRITTANI. -HI. 539 00:28:33,800 --> 00:28:35,867 COME ON BACK. 540 00:28:37,133 --> 00:28:38,900 SO, BRITTANI, WHY DON'T YOU JUST START 541 00:28:38,900 --> 00:28:41,133 WITH WHAT YOU'D LIKE TO TALK ABOUT THE MOST TODAY? 542 00:28:41,133 --> 00:28:42,467 Brittani: I JUST HAD WEIGHT-LOSS SURGERY, 543 00:28:42,467 --> 00:28:44,300 AND FOOD IS MY COMFORT, 544 00:28:44,300 --> 00:28:45,833 AND I'VE ALWAYS JUST TURNED TO IT. 545 00:28:45,833 --> 00:28:47,067 -RIGHT. -AND NOW IT'S GONE, 546 00:28:47,067 --> 00:28:50,067 AND I'M JUST LIKE, "WHAT DID I GET MYSELF INTO?" 547 00:28:50,067 --> 00:28:51,933 IS IT JUST ABOUT FOOD? 548 00:28:51,933 --> 00:28:55,767 I WENT THROUGH SEXUAL ABUSE WHEN I WAS YOUNGER. 549 00:28:55,767 --> 00:28:58,700 AND I DIDN'T FEEL SAFE, AND SO FOOD MADE ME SAFE. 550 00:28:58,700 --> 00:28:59,733 RIGHT. 551 00:28:59,733 --> 00:29:01,533 BECAUSE AT THAT TIME THAT I WAS EATING, 552 00:29:01,533 --> 00:29:03,133 I WAS LIKE, "LIFE IS OKAY RIGHT NOW. 553 00:29:03,133 --> 00:29:04,500 LIFE IS OKAY RIGHT NOW." 554 00:29:04,500 --> 00:29:06,233 -YOU NEEDED IT. -I DID, YEAH. 555 00:29:06,233 --> 00:29:08,600 YOU NEEDED SOMETHING TO HELP YOU TO SURVIVE. 556 00:29:08,600 --> 00:29:11,733 IT SEEMS WEIRD TO ME THAT SOMETHING 28 YEARS AGO 557 00:29:11,733 --> 00:29:13,333 CAN STILL AFFECT ME TILL THIS DAY. 558 00:29:13,333 --> 00:29:14,333 IT'S TRAUMA. 559 00:29:14,333 --> 00:29:16,400 SOMETIMES, IT'S JUST KIND OF HARD 560 00:29:16,400 --> 00:29:18,167 TO JUST SORT OF ACKNOWLEDGE THE PAIN 561 00:29:18,167 --> 00:29:19,967 THAT YOU REALLY HAVE EXPERIENCED. 562 00:29:19,967 --> 00:29:23,133 I WANT TO BE THE PERSON WHO'S ABLE TO COPE WITH THINGS 563 00:29:23,133 --> 00:29:26,400 AND JUST NOT FEAR THE WORST OF EVERYTHING. 564 00:29:26,400 --> 00:29:29,067 PART OF THAT IS RECOGNIZING THAT THAT FEAR -- 565 00:29:29,067 --> 00:29:30,567 THAT'S A SYMPTOM OF TRAUMA. 566 00:29:30,567 --> 00:29:32,900 YOUR NERVOUS SYSTEM IS ACTUALLY STRESSED, RIGHT? 567 00:29:32,900 --> 00:29:34,433 -MM-HMM. -AND FOOD CALMS 568 00:29:34,433 --> 00:29:35,633 YOUR NERVOUS SYSTEM. 569 00:29:35,633 --> 00:29:37,533 SO, IT'S NOT ACTUALLY SILLY. IT MAKES A LOT OF SENSE. 570 00:29:37,533 --> 00:29:39,233 -OKAY. -'CAUSE IT'S VERY EFFECTIVE. 571 00:29:39,233 --> 00:29:41,733 THEN, LIKE, I GET THAT GUILT OF, "WHY DID YOU DO THAT?" 572 00:29:41,733 --> 00:29:43,733 -THEN, YOU HAVE SHAME, RIGHT? -YEAH. 573 00:29:43,733 --> 00:29:45,400 SO, IT'S NO LONGER EFFECTIVE. 574 00:29:45,400 --> 00:29:48,500 WHEN YOU WERE 5, YOU NEEDED A COPING STRATEGY TO SURVIVE, 575 00:29:48,500 --> 00:29:51,933 AND NOW IT'S BECOME A SOURCE OF A SHAME. 576 00:29:51,933 --> 00:29:53,333 IT'S BECOME A SOURCE OF PUNISHMENT. 577 00:29:53,333 --> 00:29:54,400 MM-HMM. 578 00:29:54,400 --> 00:29:55,967 AND IT'S KEPT YOU BOTTLED UP INSIDE, 579 00:29:55,967 --> 00:29:57,433 AND IT'S TIME FOR YOU TO COME OUT. 580 00:29:57,433 --> 00:29:58,633 YES. 581 00:29:58,633 --> 00:30:01,367 AND THAT MEANS FINDING NEW COPING STRATEGIES, 582 00:30:01,367 --> 00:30:03,100 RIGHT, BESIDES USING FOOD 583 00:30:03,100 --> 00:30:05,033 BECAUSE WHAT YOU'RE EXPERIENCING, 584 00:30:05,033 --> 00:30:07,267 THE ANXIETY THAT YOU'RE DESCRIBING, 585 00:30:07,267 --> 00:30:09,133 YOU'RE GOING BACK TO THE PAST, RIGHT? 586 00:30:09,133 --> 00:30:10,800 "I'M NOT SAFE. I'M NOT SAFE." 587 00:30:10,800 --> 00:30:13,767 BUT YOU'RE RIGHT HERE, AND RIGHT NOW, YOU'RE SAFE. 588 00:30:13,767 --> 00:30:14,867 -YES. -RIGHT? 589 00:30:14,867 --> 00:30:17,100 SO, WHEN YOU CAN FIND THAT GROUNDING, 590 00:30:17,100 --> 00:30:18,700 THAT'S PROBABLY THE MOST IMPORTANT SKILL 591 00:30:18,700 --> 00:30:20,600 THAT YOU CAN USE FOR RIGHT NOW. 592 00:30:20,600 --> 00:30:23,167 THIS IS SOMETHING YOU CAN DO INSTEAD OF TURNING TO FOOD. 593 00:30:23,167 --> 00:30:25,433 YOU'RE GONNA BE OKAY. 594 00:30:25,433 --> 00:30:27,367 -THANK YOU. THANK YOU. -MM-HMM. 595 00:30:29,467 --> 00:30:32,367 Brittani: I ATE FOR COMFORT WHEN I WAS A KID, 596 00:30:32,367 --> 00:30:35,533 BUT I'M NOT THAT KID ANYMORE. 597 00:30:35,533 --> 00:30:39,300 I'M NOT LONGER POWERLESS WHEN I DON'T FEEL SAFE. 598 00:30:39,300 --> 00:30:41,800 I KNOW IT'S TIME THAT I LEARN TO COPE. 599 00:31:01,533 --> 00:31:03,200 OKAY. 600 00:31:03,200 --> 00:31:05,300 AFTER TALKING WITH THE THERAPIST, 601 00:31:05,300 --> 00:31:08,067 I DECIDED TO WORK ON SOME THINGS. 602 00:31:08,067 --> 00:31:10,067 IT HASN'T BEEN EASY, 603 00:31:10,067 --> 00:31:13,167 BUT I'VE BEEN MAKING SOME PROGRESS. 604 00:31:15,100 --> 00:31:17,700 I'M NOT LETTING MY FEAR OF FEELING UNSAFE 605 00:31:17,700 --> 00:31:19,733 CONTROL ME LIKE IT DID. 606 00:31:23,433 --> 00:31:25,967 I STILL HAVE A LOT OF PROGRESS TO MAKE, 607 00:31:25,967 --> 00:31:29,867 BUT I'M FINDING MY MOTIVATION AGAIN. 608 00:31:29,867 --> 00:31:30,867 PRODUCE. 609 00:31:30,867 --> 00:31:34,133 I'M PUSHING MYSELF TO DO MORE. 610 00:31:34,133 --> 00:31:36,067 I HAVEN'T WALKED THROUGH A GROCERY STORE 611 00:31:36,067 --> 00:31:37,067 IN, LIKE, FIVE YEARS. 612 00:31:37,067 --> 00:31:39,467 SO, THIS IS A REALLY BIG DEAL. 613 00:31:39,467 --> 00:31:42,367 IF I MAKE IT THROUGH WITHOUT THE MOTORIZED CART, 614 00:31:42,367 --> 00:31:45,200 IT WILL BE AMAZING. 615 00:31:45,200 --> 00:31:49,433 I'M LEARNING TO HAVE A DIFFERENT RELATIONSHIP WITH FOOD. 616 00:31:51,233 --> 00:31:52,433 HUH? 617 00:31:52,433 --> 00:31:53,967 OH, NEVER MIND. THERE'S A WHOLE BUNCH OF CARBS. 618 00:31:53,967 --> 00:31:55,500 OH. 619 00:31:55,500 --> 00:31:57,500 Brittani: I STILL DON'T LIKE GOING OUT IN PUBLIC 620 00:31:57,500 --> 00:31:58,833 BECAUSE I'M STILL BIG, 621 00:31:58,833 --> 00:32:01,200 AND PEOPLE STILL LOOK AND EVERYTHING, 622 00:32:01,200 --> 00:32:04,867 BUT I'M MORE COMFORTABLE NOW. 623 00:32:04,867 --> 00:32:06,700 Bill: BRITTANI'S DOING BETTER IN PUBLIC 624 00:32:06,700 --> 00:32:09,100 'CAUSE SHE'S MORE FOCUSED ON GETTING OUT 625 00:32:09,100 --> 00:32:10,467 'CAUSE SHE KNOWS THAT'S WHAT SHE NEEDS TO DO, 626 00:32:10,467 --> 00:32:12,367 SO I THINK THINGS ARE DEFINITELY GETTING BETTER. 627 00:32:12,367 --> 00:32:14,100 Brittani: ARE YOU GONNA GO? 628 00:32:14,100 --> 00:32:17,067 OKAY, THANK YOU. 629 00:32:17,067 --> 00:32:20,500 I'M NO LONGER LIVING IN FEAR. 630 00:32:20,500 --> 00:32:23,867 THESE HAVE BEEN STEPS IN A GOOD DIRECTION FOR ME. 631 00:32:23,867 --> 00:32:27,600 BUT THE BIGGEST STEP I WANT TO TAKE IS WITH MY HUSBAND. 632 00:32:30,233 --> 00:32:33,067 I WANT US TO HAVE A DEEPER RELATIONSHIP, 633 00:32:33,067 --> 00:32:38,600 AND I WANT IT TO BE ONE WHERE I'M NOT AFRAID. 634 00:32:38,600 --> 00:32:42,567 AND I WANT TO START WORKING ON HAVING A FAMILY. 635 00:32:45,267 --> 00:32:46,233 Bill: SUCCESS. 636 00:32:46,233 --> 00:32:47,233 Brittani: YEAH, I CAN'T BELIEVE 637 00:32:47,233 --> 00:32:48,267 I WALKED THROUGH THE WHOLE THING. 638 00:32:48,267 --> 00:32:50,233 NO CART, NO NOTHING. 639 00:33:07,267 --> 00:33:10,633 Brittani: TODAY, I'M GONNA GO SHOPPING FOR SOME CLOTHES, 640 00:33:10,633 --> 00:33:15,567 BECAUSE EVERYTHING I OWN IS PRETTY MUCH FALLING OFF. 641 00:33:15,567 --> 00:33:17,500 I'M REALLY EXCITED RIGHT NOW. 642 00:33:17,500 --> 00:33:21,600 I'M DOING REALLY WELL, AND I MADE A HUGE LEAP RECENTLY. 643 00:33:21,600 --> 00:33:25,333 I ASKED MY HUSBAND TO GO OUT ON A DATE WITH ME. 644 00:33:25,333 --> 00:33:27,933 SO, I'M GONNA GO GET A NEW OUTFIT TO WEAR. 645 00:33:27,933 --> 00:33:29,900 I FEEL LIKE THIS IS A HUGE STEP 646 00:33:29,900 --> 00:33:32,833 TOWARDS US HAVING A NORMAL RELATIONSHIP. 647 00:33:35,333 --> 00:33:37,767 I HAVEN'T BEEN IN A STORE SHOPPING 648 00:33:37,767 --> 00:33:42,133 IN, LIKE, PROBABLY 10 YEARS. 649 00:33:42,133 --> 00:33:44,367 OH, THIS -- ACTUALLY, I SAW THIS ONLINE. 650 00:33:44,367 --> 00:33:46,067 OKAY, OH, YOU WENT ONLINE ALREADY? 651 00:33:46,067 --> 00:33:46,933 YEAH. 652 00:33:46,933 --> 00:33:48,233 I LIKE THIS COLOR. 653 00:33:48,233 --> 00:33:50,733 -THANK YOU SO MUCH. -YOU'RE WELCOME. 654 00:33:50,733 --> 00:33:53,967 I'M STARTING TO FEEL NORMAL. 655 00:33:53,967 --> 00:33:55,700 IT FITS ME. 656 00:33:55,700 --> 00:34:00,667 I HAVEN'T HAD SOMETHING FIT ME THAT'S THIS CUTE IN A LONG TIME. 657 00:34:00,667 --> 00:34:04,200 I FEEL LIKE I'M A FEMININE WOMAN. 658 00:34:04,200 --> 00:34:05,767 I'M GONNA TAKE THIS. -OKAY. 659 00:34:05,767 --> 00:34:09,433 Brittani: AND I'VE NEVER FELT THIS HAPPY WITH MYSELF. 660 00:34:09,433 --> 00:34:13,367 IT'S AMAZING, AND I'M SO HAPPY RIGHT NOW. 661 00:34:18,733 --> 00:34:23,233 TONIGHT, I AM GOING ON A DATE WITH MY HUSBAND. 662 00:34:23,233 --> 00:34:24,600 SO, I'M PRETTY EXCITED. 663 00:34:27,067 --> 00:34:28,767 OKAY. I'M DONE. 664 00:34:29,667 --> 00:34:30,700 THANK YOU. 665 00:34:30,700 --> 00:34:33,400 Brittani: I HAVEN'T BEEN OUT TO DINNER 666 00:34:33,400 --> 00:34:36,167 OR ANYTHING NICE IN A LONG TIME. 667 00:34:36,167 --> 00:34:37,933 LIKE, YEARS. 668 00:34:40,800 --> 00:34:45,133 I'M PRETTY EXCITED TO BE OUT LIKE AN ADULT. 669 00:34:45,133 --> 00:34:48,833 I FEEL LIKE THIS IS A FRESH START FOR BILL AND ME. 670 00:34:48,833 --> 00:34:53,067 WE'VE NEVER HAD A NORMAL HUSBAND-AND-WIFE RELATIONSHIP. 671 00:34:53,067 --> 00:34:57,367 AND I FEEL LIKE I CAN START BEING A WIFE TO HIM. 672 00:34:57,367 --> 00:34:59,100 AND FOR THE FIRST TIME IN OUR MARRIAGE, 673 00:34:59,100 --> 00:35:02,100 WE CAN START TO GET CLOSER. 674 00:35:02,100 --> 00:35:04,067 LIKE, THAT GRILLED CHICKEN BREAST 675 00:35:04,067 --> 00:35:05,200 LOOKS REALLY GOOD. 676 00:35:05,200 --> 00:35:06,600 THAT'S WHAT I'M GETTING. 677 00:35:06,600 --> 00:35:08,600 Bill: IT'S BEEN A WHILE SINCE WE'VE BEEN OUT TO DINNER. 678 00:35:08,600 --> 00:35:11,200 IT'S NICE TO GO OUT AND DO WHAT WE WANT 679 00:35:11,200 --> 00:35:13,200 AND BE LIKE A REGULAR MARRIED COUPLE. 680 00:35:13,200 --> 00:35:14,467 -THANK YOU SO MUCH. -THANK YOU VERY MUCH. 681 00:35:17,267 --> 00:35:18,300 [ BOTH LAUGH ] 682 00:35:18,300 --> 00:35:20,667 -I'M GLAD WE CAME OUT. -I AM, TOO. 683 00:35:20,667 --> 00:35:23,567 Brittani: IT FEELS LIKE I'M NORMAL. 684 00:35:23,567 --> 00:35:24,833 IT IS NICE NIGHT, THOUGH. 685 00:35:24,833 --> 00:35:27,067 YEAH, IT'S BEAUTIFUL. 686 00:35:27,067 --> 00:35:29,867 LOOK AT THE HORSEY. -I SEE THE HORSE. 687 00:35:29,867 --> 00:35:31,367 HI. 688 00:35:31,367 --> 00:35:33,500 OKAY, LET'S DO THIS. 689 00:35:33,500 --> 00:35:35,933 Brittani: I'M NOT GONNA, LIKE, BREAK IT, RIGHT? 690 00:35:35,933 --> 00:35:37,567 -NO, NO. -ARE YOU SURE? 691 00:35:37,567 --> 00:35:39,267 -NO, YOU'RE GOOD. -OKAY. 692 00:35:39,267 --> 00:35:42,133 [ GRUNTS ] 693 00:35:42,133 --> 00:35:44,933 I CAN'T DO IT, YOU GUYS. 694 00:35:44,933 --> 00:35:46,567 -WHAT'S THE MATTER? -I CAN'T DO IT. 695 00:35:46,567 --> 00:35:49,867 -OKAY, THEN BACK DOWN. -I CAN'T. 696 00:35:49,867 --> 00:35:50,833 THAT'S FINE. 697 00:35:52,933 --> 00:35:55,967 EVERYONE'S LOOKING AT ME. 698 00:35:55,967 --> 00:35:59,067 THIS IS REALLY EMBARRASSING RIGHT NOW. 699 00:36:02,433 --> 00:36:04,167 TAKE THIS, PLEASE. 700 00:36:04,167 --> 00:36:06,633 [ BREATHING HEAVILY ] 701 00:36:09,400 --> 00:36:10,867 [ SNIFFLES ] 702 00:36:13,333 --> 00:36:16,167 Brittani: IT'S JUST ANOTHER HURDLE OF ME BEING HEAVY, 703 00:36:16,167 --> 00:36:18,933 AND I WANT TO QUIT RIGHT NOW REALLY BAD. 704 00:36:21,767 --> 00:36:24,467 I THOUGHT I WAS DOING SO WELL. 705 00:36:39,833 --> 00:36:43,400 I WAS REALLY EMBARRASSED ON MY DATE WITH BILL. 706 00:36:43,400 --> 00:36:45,567 WHEN I COULDN'T GET UP ON THE CARRIAGE, 707 00:36:45,567 --> 00:36:48,133 I WAS REALLY UPSET. 708 00:36:48,133 --> 00:36:49,700 ONCE I CALMED DOWN, 709 00:36:49,700 --> 00:36:52,200 I THOUGHT ABOUT ALL MY HARD WORK AND HOW FAR I'VE COME. 710 00:36:55,100 --> 00:36:58,967 SO, I'VE DECIDED, INSTEAD OF SEEING IT AS A SETBACK, 711 00:36:58,967 --> 00:37:01,533 I'M GONNA TAKE THIS OPPORTUNITY TO WORK HARDER 712 00:37:01,533 --> 00:37:04,533 AND MAKE EVEN MORE PROGRESS. 713 00:37:04,533 --> 00:37:06,433 SO, I GOT A TRAINER, 714 00:37:06,433 --> 00:37:10,133 AND I'M GONNA WORK OUT FOR THE FIRST TIME IN MY LIFE. 715 00:37:10,133 --> 00:37:11,733 Brittani: OKAY, SO, I JUST STEP ON IT? 716 00:37:11,733 --> 00:37:12,800 Donovan: YEAH, JUST STEP ON IT, UH-HUH. 717 00:37:12,800 --> 00:37:13,933 OH, GOD. 718 00:37:13,933 --> 00:37:15,267 OKAY. -THERE YOU GO. 719 00:37:15,267 --> 00:37:16,900 I'VE NEVER BEEN ON A TREADMILL. 720 00:37:16,900 --> 00:37:18,233 SEE HOW EASY THAT IS? 721 00:37:18,233 --> 00:37:19,367 [ TREADMILL BEEPS ] 722 00:37:20,867 --> 00:37:23,067 Brittani: I'M GONNA DO EVERYTHING IT TAKES 723 00:37:23,067 --> 00:37:25,433 TO KEEP LOSING WEIGHT AND MAKING PROGRESS... 724 00:37:25,433 --> 00:37:28,067 AND STOP. GOOD JOB. 725 00:37:28,067 --> 00:37:29,833 -LORD HAVE MERCY. -I KNOW. THAT'S RIGHT. 726 00:37:29,833 --> 00:37:31,133 [ LAUGHS ] 727 00:37:31,133 --> 00:37:33,267 ...SO THAT WHEN I GO OUT AGAIN WITH BILL, 728 00:37:33,267 --> 00:37:35,367 THERE WILL BE NOTHING I CAN'T DO. 729 00:37:35,367 --> 00:37:39,333 GOOD, I LIKE HOW YOU SQUEEZE AT THE TOP. 730 00:37:39,333 --> 00:37:42,400 I WAS REALLY NERVOUS ABOUT TODAY IN GENERAL 731 00:37:42,400 --> 00:37:46,067 AND WORKING OUT, BUT I'M REALLY GLAD I DID IT. 732 00:37:46,067 --> 00:37:48,067 AT MY ABSOLUTE HEAVIEST, 733 00:37:48,067 --> 00:37:51,233 I WOULD NOT HAVE BEEN ABLE TO DO THIS -- NO WAY, NO HOW. 734 00:37:52,267 --> 00:37:56,067 8, 9, AND 10. OKAY. 735 00:37:56,067 --> 00:37:59,633 I'M MAKING IT TO MY GOALS, AND MY BIGGEST GOAL IS 736 00:37:59,633 --> 00:38:02,433 FOR BILL AND I TO GROW OUR RELATIONSHIP. 737 00:38:02,433 --> 00:38:04,600 AND I WANT TO HAVE KIDS SOMEDAY. 738 00:38:04,600 --> 00:38:07,800 THAT'S MY DREAM, AND I'M NOT GONNA GET TO THAT DREAM 739 00:38:07,800 --> 00:38:10,567 UNLESS I KEEP WORKING HARD TO DO IT. 740 00:38:17,433 --> 00:38:21,333 Brittani: YOU NEVER KNOW HOW MUCH CHANGE YOU'RE CAPABLE OF 741 00:38:21,333 --> 00:38:23,900 UNTIL YOU'RE LOOKING BACK ON IT. 742 00:38:37,467 --> 00:38:39,567 HI! 743 00:38:39,567 --> 00:38:42,833 THE PAST FEW MONTHS HAVE BEEN AMAZING. 744 00:38:42,833 --> 00:38:46,167 I HAVE MADE SO MUCH PROGRESS. 745 00:38:46,167 --> 00:38:50,433 I AM DOING SO MUCH MORE, AND I HAVE SO MUCH MORE ENERGY. 746 00:38:50,433 --> 00:38:54,067 I'M ABLE TO HELP BILL IN THE MORNINGS MAKING BREAKFAST. 747 00:38:54,067 --> 00:38:55,933 I DO THE LAUNDRY, AND I CLEAN. 748 00:38:55,933 --> 00:38:58,300 AND IT MAY SOUND REALLY BORING TO SOMEONE, 749 00:38:58,300 --> 00:39:01,067 BUT IT'S WHAT I'VE ALWAYS WANTED. 750 00:39:01,067 --> 00:39:02,433 Bill: AS BRITTANI'S LOSING THE WEIGHT, 751 00:39:02,433 --> 00:39:05,133 SHE'S DEFINITELY BACK TO THE BRITTANI I KNEW 752 00:39:05,133 --> 00:39:06,400 WHEN I FIRST MET HER. 753 00:39:06,400 --> 00:39:08,600 WE'RE ABLE TO DO MORE AND MORE TOGETHER, 754 00:39:08,600 --> 00:39:10,400 AND THE MORE AND MORE SHE DOES, THE HAPPIER SHE GETS. 755 00:39:10,400 --> 00:39:12,667 ISN'T IT AWESOME YOU DON'T HAVE TO DO THIS FOR ME? 756 00:39:12,667 --> 00:39:13,700 Bill: DEFINITELY. 757 00:39:13,700 --> 00:39:15,367 Brittani: IT'S THE MOST AWESOME THING 758 00:39:15,367 --> 00:39:17,600 THAT I CAN JUST PUT MY SHOES ON BY MYSELF 759 00:39:17,600 --> 00:39:21,633 AND GO TAKE SHELDON FOR A LITTLE WALK. 760 00:39:21,633 --> 00:39:23,767 BEFORE I STARTED THIS JOURNEY, 761 00:39:23,767 --> 00:39:26,800 I HAD NEVER LOST A POUND IN MY LIFE. 762 00:39:26,800 --> 00:39:31,767 I HAVE MY NEXT DOCTOR'S APPOINTMENT IN A MONTH. 763 00:39:31,767 --> 00:39:35,167 I JUST CAN'T WAIT TO SEE HOW MUCH I'VE LOST. 764 00:39:41,667 --> 00:39:44,333 IT'S BEEN ALMOST A YEAR SINCE I DECIDED 765 00:39:44,333 --> 00:39:47,233 TO START GETTING HEALTHY AND TO DO WHAT IT TAKES 766 00:39:47,233 --> 00:39:48,433 TO GET MY LIFE BACK. 767 00:39:48,433 --> 00:39:52,933 I'M REALLY HOPING THAT I SEE AROUND 380, 768 00:39:52,933 --> 00:39:56,933 'CAUSE I HAVE BEEN WORKING REALLY HARD. 769 00:39:56,933 --> 00:39:58,433 Brittani: I'VE HAD MOMENTS OF DOUBT 770 00:39:58,433 --> 00:39:59,900 AND MOMENTS OF FEAR, 771 00:39:59,900 --> 00:40:03,567 BUT I'VE SLOWLY MADE GOOD PROGRESS, 772 00:40:03,567 --> 00:40:05,233 AND I'M STARTING TO LET THOSE FEARS GO. 773 00:40:07,233 --> 00:40:08,233 Woman: 375. 774 00:40:08,233 --> 00:40:11,000 375. THAT'S AWESOME. 775 00:40:11,000 --> 00:40:13,500 THAT'S A LOT OF WEIGHT LOST. [ LAUGHS ] 776 00:40:13,500 --> 00:40:14,700 I HAVE NOT WEIGHED THAT MUCH 777 00:40:14,700 --> 00:40:16,767 SINCE I WAS A SENIOR IN HIGH SCHOOL. 778 00:40:16,767 --> 00:40:18,700 EXCITING. 779 00:40:18,700 --> 00:40:19,900 [ Laughing ] YES! 780 00:40:19,900 --> 00:40:21,733 -HELLO. -HI, DOCTOR. 781 00:40:21,733 --> 00:40:24,533 YOU'RE DOWN TO 375 POUNDS. 782 00:40:24,533 --> 00:40:25,900 IT'S EXCITING. 783 00:40:25,900 --> 00:40:27,100 THAT'S VERY GOOD. 784 00:40:27,100 --> 00:40:29,867 BRITTANI HAS DONE EXTREMELY WELL. 785 00:40:29,867 --> 00:40:31,667 I'M VERY PROUD OF HER. 786 00:40:31,667 --> 00:40:33,333 SHE'S WELL ON HER WAY 787 00:40:33,333 --> 00:40:36,467 TO HITTING HER TARGET WEIGHT NEXT YEAR. 788 00:40:36,467 --> 00:40:40,500 YOU HAVE COME A LONG WAY FROM BEING ALMOST 600 POUNDS. 789 00:40:40,500 --> 00:40:43,333 YES, I HAVEN'T BEEN THIS WEIGHT IN A LONG, LONG TIME. 790 00:40:43,333 --> 00:40:45,200 I EXPECT THAT, IN A YEAR, 791 00:40:45,200 --> 00:40:47,600 YOU'RE GONNA BE UNDER 200 POUNDS. 792 00:40:47,600 --> 00:40:48,767 THAT'S EXCITING. 793 00:40:48,767 --> 00:40:50,167 -YOU'RE DOING GREAT. -THANK YOU. 794 00:40:50,167 --> 00:40:52,100 -AND I'LL SEE YOU ALL LATER. -THANK YOU SO MUCH. 795 00:40:52,100 --> 00:40:53,800 OKAY. 796 00:40:53,800 --> 00:40:55,967 HE'S HAPPY. I'M HAPPY. 797 00:40:58,333 --> 00:41:00,933 Brittani: I AM SO PROUD OF MYSELF RIGHT NOW. 798 00:41:00,933 --> 00:41:03,200 I FEEL LIKE I CAN DO ANYTHING. 799 00:41:08,533 --> 00:41:10,233 BILL AND I HAVE GOTTEN MUCH CLOSER 800 00:41:10,233 --> 00:41:13,933 IN THE PAST COUPLE OF MONTHS. 801 00:41:13,933 --> 00:41:18,600 OUR RELATIONSHIP IS DEEPER THAN IT'S EVER BEEN. 802 00:41:18,600 --> 00:41:21,800 I LOVE HOLDING HIS HAND AND LEANING ON HIM 803 00:41:21,800 --> 00:41:24,400 AND JUST BEING CLOSE WITH HIM. 804 00:41:24,400 --> 00:41:26,433 * * 805 00:41:26,433 --> 00:41:28,867 BEFORE THE WEIGHT LOSS, WE WEREN'T INTIMATE. 806 00:41:28,867 --> 00:41:31,600 I HAVE TO GET UP ON MY TIPPY-TOES. 807 00:41:31,600 --> 00:41:33,700 Brittani: WE ARE INTIMATE NOW, 808 00:41:33,700 --> 00:41:36,133 AND WE'RE GETTING TO BE MAN AND WIFE 809 00:41:36,133 --> 00:41:38,800 COMPARED TO JUST ROOMMATES. 810 00:41:38,800 --> 00:41:40,067 AND IT'S EXCITING, 811 00:41:40,067 --> 00:41:42,067 AND IT'S KIND OF LIKE WE'RE NEWLY MARRIED AGAIN. 812 00:41:42,067 --> 00:41:44,700 THANK YOU SO MUCH. 813 00:41:45,733 --> 00:41:48,533 IT'S GOOD. 814 00:41:48,533 --> 00:41:50,467 Brittani: IT'S BEEN A BIG CHANGE. 815 00:41:50,467 --> 00:41:53,267 IT'S LIKE, "WOW, THIS IS WHAT A MARRIAGE IS 816 00:41:53,267 --> 00:41:54,433 SUPPOSED TO BE LIKE," 817 00:41:54,433 --> 00:41:58,467 AND IT'S A DEEPER CONNECTION THAT WE HAVE NOW. 818 00:41:58,467 --> 00:42:00,667 IT'S NICE BEING OUT WITH YOU. -IT'S NICE. 819 00:42:00,667 --> 00:42:02,067 [ CHUCKLES ] 820 00:42:02,067 --> 00:42:04,867 BRITTANI'S WEIGHT LOSS HAS HELPED OUR MARRIAGE BECOME 821 00:42:04,867 --> 00:42:06,267 MORE LIKE A MARRIAGE. 822 00:42:06,267 --> 00:42:09,167 IT MAKES ME HAPPY, AND THIS IS HOW IT SHOULD BE. 823 00:42:09,167 --> 00:42:11,933 * * 824 00:42:11,933 --> 00:42:14,200 Brittani: I'M SO MUCH HAPPIER, 825 00:42:14,200 --> 00:42:16,267 AND I'M SO PROUD OF MYSELF. 826 00:42:16,267 --> 00:42:18,400 AND I HAVE SO MUCH MORE CONFIDENCE, 827 00:42:18,400 --> 00:42:23,933 AND I'M LOOKING FORWARD TO STARTING MY FAMILY WITH BILL. 828 00:42:23,933 --> 00:42:26,667 A YEAR AGO, I WAS ON MY COUCH, 829 00:42:26,667 --> 00:42:29,500 AWAY FROM THE WORLD, HIDING, ASHAMED. 830 00:42:29,500 --> 00:42:32,333 TODAY, I'M OUT IN THE WORLD, PROUD OF WHO I AM.